Mom Life, Parenting, Teen, Tween

The Most Effective Way To Help Your Tween (With Their Ever Changing Emotions)

Puberty… that dreaded word that no parent wants to hear yet alone realize is happening. Oh, yes, if you have a child, it is coming for you one day! No way around it… believe me, I have tried.

Now, assuming, we are all adults here, we have been through puberty and remember the range of emotions that could happen in a 3 minute span. Your body is going through some crazy hormonal changes. You don’t quite understand what is going on… all you know is, 5 seconds ago, you loved chocolate. 1 minute later, it is the worst thing you have ever had and for some reason it’s you mom’s fault because she doesn’t love you enough. 3 minutes later, you are crying because you didn’t mean to tell you mom those mean things. It is not an easy time. Well, now, we get to experience that from the end of being a parent.

I can tell you from personal experience that this is a hard transition on every one in the whole house. Everyone. Our oldest is currently in he midst of the beginning stages and I am merely sharing the one thing that I have found works for us.

The Secret Key To Helping Your Tween is…

Listening!

I know what you are thinking… I do that already. My tween is being an irrational little human that turns into a little terror from time to time. While, this is true, I swear by sitting down and having a good conversation with my oldest. No television or any electronics on. Just the two of us.

Here are the key components to make it successful:

  • Get on their eye level
  • Let them speak their mind
  • Pay attention to their body language as well as their words
  • Do not dismiss their feelings, not matter how irrational
  • What they are feeling is real to them

Basically, this is a huge transition for them. They are going through changes emotionally and physically that they are unsure of. They do not know how to handle it in a way that we would, as adults, consider an appropriate way. Basically, be super supportive and understanding. Now, I am not saying to give into their every whim. We still have to parent them and teach them the ways of the world. As they grow, we have to constantly change our approach in how we parent. They are still going to do their chores, homework, and keep their room clean. Those things will not change. How we react to them will.

There are many other ways to help your children deal with the emotions and ways you can help. To me, this is the one thing that has really helped foster my relationship with my oldest. Keep an eye out for a follow up post that will dig more into this coming soon!

I know this was short and to the point, but really hope you found it helpful! Please feel free to share any additional tips you may be using or have used in the comments below!

18 thoughts on “The Most Effective Way To Help Your Tween (With Their Ever Changing Emotions)”

  1. This has come at the perfect time! I have a few students in which one is going through some sort of transition and I can only imagine this is happening. I will definitely make more of a conscious effort to listen to her – thank you so much for the advice 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Listening to your kids (puberty or not!) is SO IMPORTANT! As a school counselor, you wouldn’t believe how many complaints I get from parents that their children are just unbearable. Realizing that they are coming into their own, figuring out their role in the house, figuring out their bodies, so desperately wanting to be an adult, and respecting that is gigantic. This is amazing advice- thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great tips! I have three daughters, only 28 months apart. They all talk a lot now, but I need to make sure during this time I am still actively listening.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. OHH!! I was a horrible tween. My mom and I were so VERY different! We could have BOTH benefitted from this advice! I’m storing this away for when my kiddos get to this point!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This is such helpful advice. Taking the time to listen and truly pay attention to a loved one is so important. Even if someone doesn’t seem to appreciate it, I think listening and paying attention to our children is always worthwhile.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This is so helpful! I feel like I’m closer to the side of being a tween rather than having a tween, but this is so true! During this time of your life you are feeling so many things and just want to know that someone hears you and that you’re not alone! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This is a great post. Though my oldest is only just turned seven, I know how fast time goes. I have saved this for myself and I have shared with some of my mommy friends who are walking in this. Thank you for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This is great advice! I don’t have kids myself, but one piece of advice I’d add from my own childhood (since it IS mental health awareness month & all) – if your child is really struggling, please offer to help them see a professional, and don’t brush their feelings off as something that “every teen goes through.” Around that age is when a lot of people develop the first symptoms of depression, anxiety disorders, etc, and kids that age don’t have a frame of reference for what is ‘normal’.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. As a mama to three little ones (4yo, 3yo and almost 2yo), the thought of reaching puberty makes me cringe. Thanks for putting together such a thoughtful, informative post! I will definitely keep this in mind for the future!

    Liked by 1 person

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