Puberty… that dreaded word that no parent wants to hear yet alone realize is happening. Oh, yes, if you have a child, it is coming for you one day! No way around it… believe me, I have tried.
Now, assuming, we are all adults here, we have been through puberty and remember the range of emotions that could happen in a 3 minute span. Your body is going through some crazy hormonal changes. You don’t quite understand what is going on… all you know is, 5 seconds ago, you loved chocolate. 1 minute later, it is the worst thing you have ever had and for some reason it’s you mom’s fault because she doesn’t love you enough. 3 minutes later, you are crying because you didn’t mean to tell you mom those mean things. It is not an easy time. Well, now, we get to experience that from the end of being a parent.
I can tell you from personal experience that this is a hard transition on every one in the whole house. Everyone. Our oldest is currently in he midst of the beginning stages and I am merely sharing the one thing that I have found works for us.
The Secret Key To Helping Your Tween is…
I know what you are thinking… I do that already. My tween is being an irrational little human that turns into a little terror from time to time. While, this is true, I swear by sitting down and having a good conversation with my oldest. No television or any electronics on. Just the two of us.
Here are the key components to make it successful:
- Get on their eye level
- Let them speak their mind
- Pay attention to their body language as well as their words
- Do not dismiss their feelings, not matter how irrational
- What they are feeling is real to them
Basically, this is a huge transition for them. They are going through changes emotionally and physically that they are unsure of. They do not know how to handle it in a way that we would, as adults, consider an appropriate way. Basically, be super supportive and understanding. Now, I am not saying to give into their every whim. We still have to parent them and teach them the ways of the world. As they grow, we have to constantly change our approach in how we parent. They are still going to do their chores, homework, and keep their room clean. Those things will not change. How we react to them will.
There are many other ways to help your children deal with the emotions and ways you can help. To me, this is the one thing that has really helped foster my relationship with my oldest. Keep an eye out for a follow up post that will dig more into this coming soon!
I know this was short and to the point, but really hope you found it helpful! Please feel free to share any additional tips you may be using or have used in the comments below!